How to make someone enjoy a mediocre curry

The other day I found myself needing a late lunch near St Albans City station. (This is what will sometimes happen if you go for bike rides on your days off.) I went into a nearby pub that had a big menu outside.

"Hello. Is the food still on?"

"Ye-es. Until three." (It was quarter to.)

"Thank you! I'd like the chicken curry and a pint of the Tribute."

"Would you like chips with that?"

"Um. Can I have rice?"

"I'll call the kitchen. We ran out the other day."

So she called the kitchen and they did have some rice, and I found a table and she brought over the cutlery, along, separately and unasked, with the ketchup, the mayonnaise and the malt vinegar. The curry was all right but oversweet - after its build-up, however, it tasted like a miracle. I didn't try it with the vinegar.